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Kim Hamer

Act of Love #24

Hello, Dear Readers!


And welcome to another Tuesday Tip Day!


Today, we delve into Act of Love #24 from the book "100 Acts of Love: A Girlfriend's Guide to Loving Your Friends Through Cancer and Loss."


The tip is: Say something!



Say, "I see you. I hurt for you. I'm sorry for you. I'm here for you."


It's a simple yet deeply impactful act of love.


But why is saying something soooooooooo important?


But many people get stuck in the Silence Conundrum!


*** The Silence Conundrum *** 👂🏾


You want to say something, but … your fear of saying the wrong thing keeps you silent.


That fear of unintentionally causing more pain and discomfort often leads to the pain and discomfort you are trying to avoid causing.


Your silence is a GRAVE mistake!!!!!!


When we choose silence in the face of another's struggles, it sends a message that what they are going through doesn't matter, or worse, that they don't matter as a human being!


Look, your coworker or friend with cancer needs you to acknowledge what they're going through, and your words can provide the comfort and validation they need.


**A Personal Insight** 🔎


After my husband died, there were two parents at the school where my kids went to school who actively avoided saying anything to me. It was painful for me.


Years later, one of the parents, whose partner had died, called me and apologized. She had no idea how painful it was to me until a friend of hers avoided her after her husband died.


**The Fear of Saying the Wrong Thing** 👻


The fear of saying the wrong thing is entirely natural, but it's essential to recognize that this fear often shifts the focus from the person who needs support to yourself.


When you say, "I'm afraid I'm going to say the wrong thing," you're centering your anxiety on yourself rather than the needs of the person you want to support.


So, what can we do?


Set aside our own fears and insecurities and say something—anything—rather than nothing at all.


Even if our words are not perfect, the act of acknowledging someone's pain and offering our presence can be immensely comforting.


**The Power of Coming Back**


Remember, even if you stumble over your words initially, there is always time to come back and say the right thing. Your person will appreciate your efforts and the genuine care behind your words.


So, yeah. Say something.


Make sure they know you see the yucky part of their life journey!


Thank you for joining us for this Tuesday's Tip Day.


Don't forget to order "100 Acts of Love" right here. It's on sale this month!


Until next Tuesday, remember… you matter!


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