How to Say Good-Bye ...

My stepfather, Bill, died last month. During Christmas, I took my daughter and youngest son to see him so we could say good-bye. This experience was notably different from the first time I said goodbye to someone who was dying. When I whispered those words to my husband, he was unconscious. I...

The Art of Writing a...

My step-father died last week. My mom has been getting a lot of condolence notes. There is an art to writing a condolence note and it's not that hard. It's about following seven simple steps: 1. Being tongue tied is ok. 2. Share a positive memory. 3. Don't compare. 4. Don't dodge saying...

No Deadline for Deat...

This is a great article from the NYT about writing condolence notes and it's DEAD ON. Read it... and never worry about writing the wrong thing again!  ...

Dear Art

Dear Art, This is what you're missing. Ezra (#72), our baby, who will be taller than Langston soon, is playing football and...was chosen as captain of the team! Remember the story of him in preschool with his posse who all started wearing rain boots every single day just like Ezra and to the...

I didn’t bury ...

I didn't bury Art. Half of him is in a ziplock bag in a wooden box on the third shelf of my closet. The other half of him is split between my cousin's ranch in Plymouth CA (a favorite place of his) and a family plot in Maine. After I picked up his ashes, I couldn't figure out what to do. We...

They were murdered. ...

Murder has been in the news a lot these past weeks. In all of these cases, we know who died and we even know how they died.   But what about the families of those murdered?   There are: 49 families in Orlando,  five families in Dallas,  a family in Baton Rouge,  a family in...

He’s Been Dead...

Today marks 7 years since Art died. I woke up this morning, went looking for photos and thought to myself "I need to find a more recent photo of him." And then was like "You idiot, there are no more RECENT photos." I laughed out loud. His death is still so fucking hard to wrap my brain...

Work Funerals: To Go...

      Recently a co-worker’s father died.  The CEO sent an email suggesting that employees attend the funeral to show our support for our co-worker. He even arranged for a shuttle. I’m glad he did because, without it, I don’t think many would have attended. Let’s face it....

The Best Gift I Ever Wrecked Mar06

The Best Gift I Ever...

  I broke this box. Well, I didn't actually break it but I got careless where I put it. The 'm' in ‘Kim’ came off and then the paper bow ripped. I’ve had this box since April 29, 2009, 13 days after Art died. It was given to me by one of his students. The inscription reads: Dear Kim, I made...

Protected: Mugalian ...

Welcome to the Mugalian Support Page I'm Kim Hamer, the creator of 100 Acts of Love and the person who wants to help you help Steve and the kids. Tamara taught my son in forth grade when my husband had cancer the first time and I'm a cancer widow like Steve.  My husband died from cancer at...

Help Ideas in the Ma...

  Help came in the mail today! I received one of those coupon packets full of some really great help ideas!  That was a surprise. It contained five different support ideas you can use for your friend dealing with sudden death or grief and loss or cancer or …  you get the idea. 1. House...

6 Cancer Help Hacks ...

Helping a friend with cancer (or dealing with loss) is really not THAT hard.  Here are a few cancer helping hacks that make it really easy to do while you "do" your own life. Next time you're heading to the story, call her .............